There is something about affection that is deeply cherished among families. Affection lifts burdens from loved ones in difficult times, while warming hearts in every condition. Tokens of affection ease the wariness of time. They offer families a reassurance of love and feelings of comfort and appreciation for one another. Affection is a valuable tool for strengthening families, and a quality that is missed when it is gone.

The Meaning of Affection
Affection is an attribute that is important to families, but it is a word that means different things to different people. Even dictionary definitions of the word have similar but slightly different meanings:

Merriam-Webster Dictionary = “tender attachment : fondness”

Cambridge Dictionary = “Feelings of liking or love”

Dictionary.com = “fond attachment, devotion, or love”

The dictionaries reach for meaning as they describe affection, but devoid of emotion, they fail to express the essence and feeling of the word in the way that people understand it. Affection is not the same to everyone, but there are some shared commonalities to be found, even among the dictionary definitions. Fondness, attachment, and love are common themes of affection. For the sake of this article, we will define affection to mean anything that expresses one’s feelings of fondness, attachment, gratitude, devotion, or love for another.

Affection Means Different Things to Different People
There are many forms of affection, each of which is deemed to be appropriate or unacceptable by personal opinions and preferences. Some people are frequently affectionate, while others are only occasionally so. It is difficult to find two people who understand affection in exactly the same way. Expressions of affection mean different things to different people, but one thing is certain – nearly everyone desires affection of some kind.

Kinds of Affection
When many people think of affection, they think of physical contact. Touch is an important method of showing affection, but there are several other ways to express fondness for family. Being aware of the various kinds of affection can be helpful in determining the best and most appropriate ways to show affection for family members. The following table describes various methods of showing affection:

Getting it Right
It is not always easy to show the right amount of affection to everyone, but with time and patience, families can learn to share a harmonious balance. Becoming aware of the kinds of affection that work for each member of a family is a considerate and loving act that shows how much one cares. Affection has much to do with personality. Being able to exchange tokens of affection with one’s family is a great way to strengthen relationships and to demonstrate that time has been taken to truly know each member of one’s family individually. In time, affection comes as second nature, and can be truly appreciated in a family.

Getting it Wrong
While affection is mostly positive and rewarding to share as a family, there are conversely a few things to avoid. It is never good to withhold affection from another in anger or spite. This is similar to the “silent treatment” where family members refuse to speak to one another after an argument, and it can lead to hurt feelings and mistrust. It is not healthy to play with affection and emotions in any relationship. It can also be a bad idea to expect or demand affection from someone who is unwilling to give it freely. Affection should be given voluntarily and never forced.

Have you Hugged your Family Today?
One of the most tragic mistakes that can happen to families is not sharing enough affection. It is far too easy to become distracted by demands of life and to forget to show affection to your family. Spouses and children can feel deprived and disappointed when time together is not taken and moments for loving affection are missed. Affection is a gift for all of us to give to our families and in turn, to receive from them also. It is difficult for families who are accustomed to sharing time and devotion with us to suddenly be denied of the affection that they are used to. It is important to do all we can to prevent the daily tasks of our lives from causing us to forget the affection that our families need and deserve.

Affection is one of life’s most beautiful gifts when we learn to utilize all of its tools to further the happiness of those we love. Affection does not always require tremendous efforts of us…but even simple things like a hand on a shoulder, a pat on the back, or a smiling face with encouraging words. Affection is the glue that bonds families together. It is important to use it regularly to strengthen family relationships. Even when it seems that we have nothing else to give, we can always offer affection to our families.

Related Reading:

Letting Go of Little Things: Find relief from anger and worry by letting go of little things that bother you in life.

Learning Something New Every Day: Learning something daily that is beneficial to our lives is a possibility, but it is not guaranteed without a conscious effort on our part.

Controlling Thoughts: Mastering our Minds and Thoughts: We evaluate ourselves based on things we do, finding joy and regret in actions, while scarcely noticing that the driving force behind them is our thoughts.

References:

Merriam-Webster Dictionary, Affection, Accessed 11/15/2010
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/affection?show=0&t=1289850700

Cambridge Dictionary, Affection, Accessed 11/15/2010
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/affection

Dictionary.com, Affection, Accessed 11/15/2010
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/affection