by Wes Fessler |
How to Strengthen a Family |
November 4 , 2010 |
There is likely a family you know that seems to have it all together, with smiling faces, free of conflict, that appears to be the perfect family. This family may seem happy and carefree with little or no effort at all. Such a family can make you wonder what marvelous secrets they know that allow them to live so harmoniously, while many families struggle to get along from day to day. While it may seem that some families are naturally perfect, it should be remembered that there is no such thing as a perfect family, and that even those that appear to be strong must make efforts to be so.
Values and Practices
Much of the success that is found in strong families begins with values and practices that promote unity and happiness. These practices are repeatable, and can be utilized to strengthen families everywhere. While there is no such thing as a perfect family, an understanding of the concepts that lead to greater unity can help every family to achieve a higher level of harmony and happiness. Just as the body needs exercise to become strong and healthy, so do all family relationships.
Getting Stronger
Weight training is an excellent way to make our bodies stronger. It builds our muscles over time to a point where they are capable of lifting more weight than they could at the beginning of our exercise program. It is not easy to lift heavy weights at first, but by starting out with weight that we can handle and gradually adding more, we eventually develop strong and powerful muscles that can lift far greater weight than when we began. Such is the process of becoming stronger families. It requires us to focus on new ideas and practices, gradually building upon our experiences and improving ourselves and our families until they are much stronger than they were when we began.
TEAMWORK
There are many important values and practices that contribute to the building of strong families, but some of the most important ones can be summed up in the composition of the word ‘teamwork.’ The following table will explain how teamwork can be used to strengthen families and how the word can remind us of the values and practices that can help us to make it happen:
The TEAMWORK mnemonic
(for strengthening families)
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T =
Time
Together |
One of the most valuable and yet most easily neglected aspects of strengthening families is spending time with them. There are many distractions in our lives from work and errands, to video games, computers, and habitual self-indulgences. We must force ourselves away from our distractions, committing a substantial amount of quality time to be with our families. This time can be for having fun together or simply for sharing their company. Sometimes fun is just being together. |
E =
Express
Your
Love |
Never allow your family to doubt your love. Tell your family you love them and show your love through your actions. It is difficult to tell your family that you love them too often, but it is easy to tell them too little. Express your love for your family in your communication with them and by your actions. |
A =
Appreciation |
Show your appreciation for your family. Tell them thank you frequently. Let them know that you appreciate the subtle, small deeds that they do for you as well as the large and obvious ones. Let your family know that you appreciate them for who they are and for the talents, efforts, and honorable things that they do. |
M =
Mercy |
Learn to be merciful to your family. The world is full of places where it is difficult to find mercy. Make your interactions with your family the kind that make it easy to obtain mercy. Be forgiving of wrongs done to each other. Learn to apologize for offenses done to your family and be sincerely sorry for violating any trust or for causing any pain. Let apologies and forgiveness be easier to find among your family than anywhere in the world. |
W =
Work |
Be willing to work to strengthen your family. Be willing to put forth the effort to be aware of the condition of relationships in your family and to take the actions to keep them healthy and strong. Avoid taking your family for granted. Be willing to care about them and to take every action necessary to show that you do. Build the strength of your family as you would build muscle, adding more and more love for them every day. |
O =
Openness |
Be yourself with your family. Be an important part of their lives and allow them to be an important part of yours. Allow your family to know your sorrows and concerns as well as your joys. Get to know every member of your family. Be interested in their interests and pursuits and share yours with them. Avoid building walls or pretending to be anything that you are not. Always be yourself, and allow your family to do the same. Make your time together pleasant, honest, and care-free. |
R =
Respect |
Understand what is important to each member of your family. Learn their strengths and weaknesses, and be willing to operate within their boundaries. Avoid taking advantage of their weaknesses or pushing them beyond their limitations of tolerance. Respect your family and their individual idiosyncrasies. Honor their trust with all of your heart. |
K =
Kindness |
It is easy to fall into a negative pattern of condescension and sarcasm with family members. Be aware of your attitude with your family and the manner in which you interact with one another. Seek ways to uplift one another and to complement each other. Look for simple things that you can do to show that you care for your family. Be mindful of ways that you can bring happiness to your family, and it will serve to strengthen your relationships. |
‘Teamwork’ is a memorable and easy mnemonic device to use with your family in practical, everyday interactions. The meaning within its letters provides reminders that can help you to remain aware of some of the most important aspects of strengthening your family. It is merely a portion of the weight you must lift, however, in acquiring optimal strength for your family. There are many additional values that can also be helpful in strengthening families. The following is a list of some additional items to consider in building stronger families:
Sharing meals together on a daily basis
Communicating moral standards
Having family activity nights
Having family meetings to discuss plans, concerns, and ideas
Sincerity
Honesty
Loyalty
There are many important thoughts, ideas, and values that can help to strengthen families. You will likely discover that there are many more ways to strengthen your family than those discussed here. This should serve as a good starting point, however, in your efforts to continually strengthen your family. Teamwork, as a mnemonic, and as a word on its own, is a very important attribute of strong families. By utilizing the ideas described here, and by devoting care and attention to your family, it is very possible that others may come to see your family as the ‘perfect family’ that we all wish we could have.
Related Reading:
Self-Discipline: By trying to be better every day, it is always possible to be the best we have ever been.
Being Your Best: Helping Others: The only way to be the best you can be is to be able to help others.
Controlling Thoughts: Mastering our Minds and Actions: We evaluate ourselves based on things we do, finding joy and regret in actions, while scarcely noticing that the driving force behind them is our thoughts.
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