Reducing Family Stress
by Wes Fessler |
August 12, 2010 |
There is no shortage of challenges that cause feelings of instability and stress among families. As if challenges at home were not enough to manage on their own, global economic instability has been an additional reason to worry for millions of families in recent years.
Stress is an issue that families must face on a regular basis to maintain healthy and enduring relationships. Stress occurs in several facets of the family unit, impacting spousal bonds, parenting efforts, and coping mechanisms of children. There is no way to avoid stress at home, but it is the manner in which stress is managed that will determine how successfully a family will weather the storms of life.
Causes of Family Stress
There are many different causal factors for the stresses that families are subjected to. It cannot be denied that the economy has added stress to the lives of American families. According to ourstressfullives.com, nearly 50% of Americans reported being increasingly stressed about being able to provide for the basic needs of their families. With a stubbornly high unemployment rate, and fluttering financial markets, there is concern about already tightened family budgets and uncertainty about the future. Money is one of the most common sources of stress and worry among families.
Failure to Communicate
A variety of additional challenges also add stress to families, and as Laura Dickey from www.brandnewdaycoaching.webs.com points out, many of them revolve around a lack of effective communication. Families have more tools at their disposal than ever with which to communicate, and yet, for some reason many fail to do so effectively. Lack of communication can affect parents, as well as children in increasingly damaging ways. When challenges and problems are not shared and discussed, insecurity and uncertainty can develop in family relationships. Poor communication about stress in life can result in even greater worry and frustration which leads to resentment and being offended by another's actions and words (or the lack of them). A continued disregard for communication with one another can lead family members into unhealthy interactions, enmity, and isolation.
Reducing Family Stress
It is not necessary to allow family bonds to become so neglected that they hang on the very brink of separation. There are several steps that can be taken to reduce stress together as a family to face the challenges that arise, whatever they may be.
Awareness
Life happens so quickly that sometimes it can be difficult to identify with precision the stresses that are occurring in family life. Dealing with family stress requires more than an awareness of personal concerns: it also requires alertness to the stressors affecting each member of the family. It is easy to become so wrapped up in personal issues that problems of others are overlooked.
Communication
As a family becomes aware of the stresses facing each member, it is better able to communicate how they may be resolved. Communication is one of the most important tools for reducing family stress, but it does not always come easily, and it should never be taken for granted. Technology has made it easier than ever to communicate with family members wherever they may be. Families can utilize this technology, as Laura Dickey notes to help in ensuring their children's safety and well-being, but also to communicate with spouses, to see to the needs of one another, and to express themselves at times when they are apart.
More than Speaking
Effective family communication requires more than simply speaking to one another: it demands a genuine concern and interest for the collective family unit. It is important to prevent family communication from becoming impersonal in nature. Simple status updates, or yes and no answers may be better than no communication at all, but they generally fail to deliver the closeness that is needed as a family dealing with stress. Communication as a family should be deep enough to reach the heart and leave no doubt that messages of love are travelling through every channel and reaching everyone involved.
Weekly Meetings
Another idea suggested by Laura Dickey, is to have weekly meetings as a family. These can be simple gatherings around the dinner table in which everyone has a chance to discuss coming events and sources of possible stress. These meetings can help families to deal with immediate issues, and plan for dealing with future challenges. Although it may seem uncomfortable for some at first, communication in such meetings should be deep enough to express feelings of caring and love to all involved. While these meetings are not intended to be a substitute for daily communication, they serve the purpose of fostering commitment and support for one another on a regular and scheduled basis.
A family that is able to communicate effectively is best suited to confronting and overcoming stressful challenges that arise in life. For partners, parents, and children alike, communication is the first and best defense against family stress. Although there will always be worldly challenges and situations that are difficult to manage, it is always possible to strengthen a family through genuine and loving communication.
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References
Family Communications, Laura Dickey, Accessed August 12, 2010
http://ldlifetransformation.wordpress.com/2010/07/09/family-communications/
Stress Statistics, Accessed August 12, 2010
http://www.ourstressfullives.com/stress-statistics.html
Tips to Reduce Family Stress, Jane Collingwood, Accessed August 12, 2010
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/tips-to-reduce-family-stress/
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