Every day as I look in the mirror, I am confronted by one of life’s greatest ironies…that I will be both my worst enemy and greatest ally. There is no one who can cause me greater trouble or deliver more success to my life than myself. This is the challenge we must all face in learning self-discipline and becoming who we truly want to be.

Placing Blame
In difficult times, it can be easy to place blame on others or on events that seem beyond control; but in the end, we must accept personal credit or blame for our experiences and how they shape our lives as people. Self-discipline is not easy to master. It is a process of being in touch with who we are, and who we want to be. Self-discipline requires us to not only understand our strengths and weaknesses, but to visualize how they can be improved through time. When situations result in trouble or misfortune it is always easiest to place blame on others and to rationalize how different things may have been if they had acted differently. This is a natural tendency, and a part of trying to look for cause when unfavorable events present themselves, but it is also wrong to assume that fault lies in others rather than ourselves.

Looking Inward
It is important to identify causes of problems in order to find solutions, but it is wrong and far too common to presume that fault lies in others, while we remain blameless. While it is never desirable to be the one at fault for a problem, it can be better to consider the possibility of our own blame before finding fault in others. By looking inwardly first, we can avoid the appearance of being judgmental and possibly also identify ways that we may have contributed to the problem. Once we have honestly considered our own mistakes, we can then turn to discussion about roles others may have played in a problem. Addressing challenges in this way is a matter of self-discipline that shows that we care about our actions, and how they affect others. Looking inwardly first shows that we have the ability to accept and improve upon our mistakes, whereas directing blame at others first is indicative of our fear and reluctance to accept responsibility.

Finding Real Causes and Solutions
When problems arise in life, it is necessary and desirable to identify the issues that cause them, so that corrective action can be taken. There is a difference, however, between searching out the cause of a problem and looking for someone to blame. When identifying the cause is the true priority, it is not necessary to point fingers at others in order to absolve ourselves of blame. When coming to an understanding of the cause is the primary consideration there is reason for everyone to take inventory of themselves and to conscientiously evaluate whether personal actions may have contributed to a problem. This self-reflection leads to the desire for self-improvement as problems are discovered, rather than the avoidance of blame. When everyone takes responsibility for themselves in this manner, there is more desire for individual improvement and less reason for contention. It is acceptable to make mistakes. We are all human. The important consideration is that we take responsibility for our mistakes and seek ways to improve them.

Being Your Own Worst Enemy
There are times in our lives when we are all our own worst enemies. Sometimes for whatever reason, we let ourselves down and act in ways that we know are not in line with our own standards or expectations for ourselves. We are all human and prone to error, but it can be frustrating to experience moments of weakness that remind us of our limitations. These moments can bring us down, making us feel doubt about the goodness within us, but they are also moments of opportunity – chances to more clearly understand our strengths and weaknesses, and how we can improve them.

It is important to realize that even in the darkest times when we allow ourselves to be our own worst enemies, there is always a pathway back to who we truly want to be. While every person has unique attributes of character, there is goodness in everyone. Though this goodness may be harder for us to see at some times than others, it is always within us, and it serves as a passage to better and happier lives. It is up to each of us, no matter how hopeless or bleak a situation may seem, to find the will to search for that goodness and to restore our courses toward the brighter things that we aspire to in life. There are times when we all have to flee from the weaknesses of character that make us our own worst enemies, and to become instead our greatest allies.

Perceptions and Attitude
Learning to master our lives is largely a matter of perception and attitude. From time to time we will all be subjected to thoughtless actions of others and uncontrollable events that will inject unfairness and difficulty into our lives. There are times when other people and unfortunate events will seem like the biggest challenges of our lives, but in all that we are faced with, we must learn to be masters of our own destinies. We cannot allow the success or failure of our lives to be controlled by external influences. We must ultimately take responsibility for the results of our lives, and doing so compels us to harness the elements of life that we can control. We must learn to overcome negativity and pessimism to look rather at the positive elements of our lives, and the many opportunities that we can turn into successes. It is our choice whether we will dwell on unpleasant circumstances of the past with regret, or smile with encouragement at what we can make of the future.

Taking Control
The most important aspect of developing self-discipline is the ability to take responsibility for our actions without exception. It is crucial to realize that no matter what challenges we may encounter, all of us are the captains of our own ships, and to pleasant shore or to ocean floor, we alone bear the responsibility for our destinations. Though storms and tides will rage upon our ships against our will and beyond our control, it is up to us to circumvent every challenge and to pilot our vessels to safety.

Mastering the waters of our lives is a difficult task that is not attained all at once. Self-mastery is a process that requires us to endure a lifetime of struggles, failures, and course corrections that little by little enhance our abilities to withstand rough seas. It is unwise to look at every mistake as a tragedy or as a source of irreparable damage that will impede our efforts of improvement. Mistakes are inevitable – serving as tools for growth and learning as long as we are able to see them as such. It is vital to our progress that we keep an eye on the horizon rather than being disheartened by every nearby wave. We should not be easily distracted or set off course by every challenge we encounter. By maintaining a vision of our desired destination and holding a course that allows us to be morally strong, we gain fortitude to conquer multitudes of hazards that rise against us even in the roughest of seas.

Continuous Improvement
Self-discipline is never a matter of perfection, but rather an effort of continuous improvement. On a personal level, the goal is to always seek to be better than before. Self-discipline is the ability to stand for all that we do, in good and bad, without the burden of shame, and with the knowledge that we have given our best. By trying to be better every day, it is always possible to be the best we have ever been.

Every day as I look in the mirror, I am faced with the choice to decide who and what I will be. Every day is an opportunity to learn something new about myself that helps me to be better than I was before. We must all face ourselves daily, knowing that we can settle in negativity that weighs us down and makes us our own worst enemies, or that we can choose to be our greatest allies – climbing to greater heights than we have ever achieved, by facing our weaknesses and transforming them into strengths.

Related Reading:

Being Your Best: Helping Others: The only way to be the best you can be is to be able to help others.

Discipline Quotes: Profound sayings of various authors on the topic of discipline.

What is Love: A look at the refinement of character.