Many adults have been through school and have seen their share of bullying by kids who seem to have no sympathy or compassion for anyone. Bullying is not a new problem, but it remains an unnecessary distraction, and a painful source of torment for many children in school or at play.

It Happens to Everyone, but does that make it right?
While most everyone has an opinion of what bullying is and generally believes that it is inappropriate, it tends to be treated dismissively by many children and adults alike. It is true that most people witness or experience some form of bullying as they progress through childhood, but that is no reason to accept or tolerate such behavior. The mere fact that it is common does not make it right or acceptable. Bullying is a behavior that causes unnecessary duress to be inflicted upon children, and it is the responsibility of parents who care for their children to give bullying the attention and resistance it deserves.

What Is Bullying?
What really is bullying? Perhaps part of the reason bullying is given such little attention is due to the fact that it is inadequately understood. Bullying is the infliction of intimidation that causes one to feel threatened with fear, humiliation, or risk of pain or bodily harm. Bullying causes children to feel ostracized, degraded, and often hurt physically and/or emotionally.

Who Bullies?
Bullying is not merely a grade school phenomenon. It can happen in any grade level and at any school. It is wrong to assume that your child will not be subjected to, or even be the instigator of bullying. In a survey conducted by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, 15,686 students were interviewed in grades 6 through 10, it was determined that, “29% of the students who responded to the survey had been involved in some aspect of bullying either as a bully, or as the target of bullying, or both. Additionally as Annie Fox points out in her article on bullying, a recent U.S. Department of Justice study concluded that, “77% percent of students nation-wide reported having been bullied, verbally, mentally, or physically, in schools in the past month.” The prevalence is high and should not be ignored by parents, whether their children are bullies or the targets of bullying.

Signs of Being Bullied
Children can sometimes feel ashamed of their fear and the abuse they take from bullying. This fear may cause children to be relutcant to talk about bullying to parents or friends. It is important for parents to be aware of signs that their children may be troubled by a bully. There are twelve warning signs that are described in a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services report that may indicate that a child is being bullied:

Signs of Bullying
Annie Fox presents some compelling reasons and signs that parents may have a bully in their own home which include: a manipulative and argumentative parental example, demanding and bossy children, friends of questionable character, and spiteful or degrading conversations with friends about others. Each of these can indicate the possibility of bullying tendencies. While other factors certainly apply, these signs can help to explain the attitudes and behaviors that are demonstrated through acting out to intimidate, degrade, and harm others.

Consequences of Bullying
In some cases, bullying may prove to have inconsequential effects on children as they grow into adulthood, but in other cases the effects of both being bullied and being a bully can be serious and sometimes tragic. Being bullied can cause children to be afraid of school and peers, which can cause them to stay home from school, have a compromised sense of self-worth, and in some very real cases result in physical harm or even suicide (see video). Those who bully frequently commonly end up in physical confrontations that can result in bodily harm. A bully’s disregard for people in general can lead to delinquency and criminal behaviors.

Taking a Stand
Bullying happens – maybe not to everyone, but to many. It has been around as long as anyone can remember, but its longevity is no justification for tolerating its continuation. It is up to parents to be aware of the signs of bullying and the harmful consequences that result from it. Whether a child is a bully, or a target of bullying, it vital that parents see the importance of the issue and take every action possible to stop the bullying.

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References:

Bullying Widespread in U.S. Schools, Survey Finds,  Accessed August 25, 2010
http://www.nichd.nih.gov/news/releases/bullying.cfm

My Chlid? A bully!!,  Annie Fox,   Accessed August 25, 2010
http://blog.anniefox.com/2010/07/02/my-child-a-bully/

Warning Signs That A Child is Being Bullied
www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/hhs_psa/pdfs/sbn_tip_7.pdf

ABC News: Bullying story, zweeps, accessed Auguest 25, 2010
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Wcx2qM5C4g